i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
