You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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