just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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