i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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