So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
