I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
