you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks