Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards http://tfl.nu/kggv
  Replies (7) Good night (2933) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!" http://tfl.nu/plpd
  Replies (11) Good night (5350) Bad night (1211)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny http://tfl.nu/9x6z
  Replies (9) Good night (606) Bad night (2997)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world. http://tfl.nu/0fm4
  Replies (9) Good night (6546) Bad night (1080)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday. http://tfl.nu/tx0i
  Replies (16) Good night (6267) Bad night (1065)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up. http://tfl.nu/63pe
  Replies (3) Good night (2208) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse... http://tfl.nu/ttob
  Replies (8) Good night (1037) Bad night (3204)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Damn you and your Monday night power hours.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Damn you and your Monday night power hours. http://tfl.nu/3ta4
  Replies (2) Good night (1405) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth http://tfl.nu/th81
  Replies (14) Good night (2551) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up http://tfl.nu/1xaw
  Replies (3) Good night (939) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision http://tfl.nu/c6qu
  Replies (0) Good night (832) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment. http://tfl.nu/ge6f
  Replies (3) Good night (396) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni. http://tfl.nu/pqm5
  Replies (5) Good night (1320) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet? http://tfl.nu/ne2f
  Replies (2) Good night (510) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops. http://tfl.nu/nz3t
  Replies (0) Good night (466) Bad night (247)

Randomize