why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
