Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I want to stick my p in your. b.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future