I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
