its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Randomize
