Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just want nice things and good sex
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
