So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize