Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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