I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
