I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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