Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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