that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
