Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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