the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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