And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize