I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
