quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
