I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
