i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
