Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
50% drunk capacity currently
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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