dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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