So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
