If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
