I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
