Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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