they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize