me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
