my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
