he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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