worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
