I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
