I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
jump out the window naked night went bad
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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