Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
