What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
