I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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