My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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