if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
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