i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
