I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I want her autograph on my taint
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
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