she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
