Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize