The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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