trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
you made out with another girl for some wings
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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