yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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