God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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