I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
