I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
