I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
MIDGETS
????
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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