I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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