I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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