Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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