It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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