Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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