K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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