Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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