I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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