you traded sex for a burrito?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
