wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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